Vote Eisner for Evil

{Scene: A large room with high tech computery, vats and a few figures. first is Micheal Eisner, the next is Mickey Mouse in a Marshall's uniform, third's a motorized tank with something goo-ey in it, the last a nameless female doctor in a dark red leathery suit.

BRAIN TANK: Finally I can live on without having to limit myself to the human body, I can now succesfully disspose of my useless Eisner personality and continue as "The Eisner Brain"!

MICKEY: Sure, eh, shall I take it to the tanks for recycling sir?

EISNER: Remind me to do something about that sqeuky and puny voice of yours when we conquer the world. It doesn't suit the trusted general of a world dictator!

[The lab assistant presses a button and a nearby wall slides open, revealing a large number of people dressed in business suits with suitcases.]

EISNER: Finally it's time for my plan to take over the world, with this army I'll decimate every superpower in this world and I will finally be the ruler of the Earth!

INFILTRATOR: I wouldn't be so sure of that!

[With a loud crash, someone enters through the skylight window, causing everyone in the room to jump in fear. It's Clarice (from the C&D short) in a military get-up, complete with two Colt pistols in hand.]

EISNER: Clarice!? But I thought my thugs left you in the hand of the gaint squid/pet shark/cloned teletubby!

CLARICE: I tied his hands together/busted it's teeth/bended his antennea. Now it's your turn!

EISNER: You wouldn't do it! I own you, you're property of Disney studios!

CLARICE: (shocked) What!? No, noooooooo!!!!!!

MICKEY: Seize her!

[Two minions rush in and quickly tangle Clarice up with a rope. Another crash as CD joins the fray, startling everyone for a moment.]

CD: You can't do that to Clarice, she'll beat you up mercilesly!

CLARICE: Can't you see I'm-

CD: You'll wish you never did this Eisner!

EISNER: Make me.

CLARICE: I'm sorry but I'm not-

CD: You can do it! You da woman, Clarice! You can beat them! ... Can you?


CD: Oh, that's less than encouraging.

[Eisner's henchmen take CD captive as a third person enters through the roof window.]

EISNER: I must have considered the advantages of an UNDERGROUND base before buying this island.

[The newcomer is revealed from bottom to top, it's Santa Claus. And boy is he ever angry!]

SANTA: Here he is. With the horsepower of eighty reindeer, the weight of five full loaded sleds and the brainpower of ten elves: SUPER SANTA!!!

EISNER: *gasp* No, it can't be!

SANTA: Alright shorty, release the prisoners or prepare for a headache!

EISNER: I'll never give up, never! For I, Micheal Eisner, still hold my secret weapon! Behold my unstopable legion of ... ... ... SALESMEN!

[Santa is taken aback as Eisner's army opens their briefcases, pick out sets of paper and throw them at Santa. Santa dodges but one delivers a papercut to his cheeck.]

SANTA: *gasp* Damage claims!

[Another crash as Gadget jumps into the scene, in her Cola Cult battlegear.]

GADGET: Give up Eisner, your legion of doom is done for.

EISNER: You and what army? Whaha, to think that I, Micheal Eisner, will be stopped by my own creations? Laughable!

GADGET: You didn't create me.

[The salesmen throw a new set of papers at Gadget, who jump to the wall, sticking to it with her suctioncup shoes. Next the salesmen all pull out some sort of House/Garden/Kitchen apliance and hurl it at the mouse inventor, who uses her magnet to fry all the murderous machinery, reducing it to motionless iron and steel.]

GADGET: Now it's my turn!

[Gadget shoots her crossbow at a salesman who then explodes, revealing it to be a higly advanced robot. Gadget shoots a few others and they explode as well.]

EISNER: Guards!!

[A crash is heard and is revealed to be a large machine that has been pushed over to block the large door to access the Command Center. Clarice sits on it and smiles at Eisner who is furious. He looks over to Gadget who continues her salesmen rampage.]

EISNER: You, all of you, you've ruined my plan for world domination.

CD: To bad, I think we owe him an apoligy.

HEROES: We're sorry mister Eisner.

EISNER: Ah, that's allright. Don't sweat over it anymore. Hey!

MICKEY: You ruined the boss's plan, you'll pay!

[Mickey waves his fist but is suddenly interupted by a gunshot. He clutches his hearth in confusion and pain.]


[Cut to Clarice, with one of her Colt pistols now having a flag extended with the word "pang" on it.]

CD: (like a funeral priest) He was not an evil man, only misguided...

SANTA: He was evil, don't you get it?

EISNER: Mickey! Hey could they? MONSTERS!!!

LAB ASSISTANT: Boss, watch your blood pressure. Mickey's not dead, there isn't any blood puddle forming under his body. It must have been the action getting to his head.

EISNER: Then how do you explain that he never *ever* fainted in one of his shorts? He went through much worse you numdskull!

SANTA: It must have been the evil you forced into him! But I'll fix it, soon you won't force anything anymore, not even food down your throat.

[Santa lunges forward, smashing the tank were Eisner's brain resides. Green liquid spills out of it and Santa grabs Eisner's brain after it hit the floor. He than begins punching it while the brain whines, whishing it were somewhere else now. Finally the heroes leave, leaving the brain on the ground in his now demolished lab.]


BRAIN: (weakly) D-Docter, put - put me in another tank, quick!

[The assistant carefully pick up Eisner's Brain, but quickly lets go of it.]


BRAIN: (weakly) My plan, it, it worked so well. I should have succeeded!

MICKEY: (recovering) Yeah, b-but it didn't.

BRAIN: Well then, don't just stand around there and get me to safety, and get something to cool me off, my head hurts!


BRAIN: (furious) We'll plot for the next time! I will return! The world hasn't heard the last of ...

[Dramatic lightning.]

BRAIN: ... Micheal Eisner!

[Fade to black, Clarice suddenly appears, a bit peeved.]

CLARICE: No CD, I'm not going to kiss you. You didn't even rescue me. I did all the fighting.

[CD appears as well.]

CD: That doesn't mean you can't smooch me right? Just one time...

[A faint *clang* is heard as a plunger dart hits CD, attching itself to his head.]

CD: (sarcastically) Thank you.

GADGET: Sure, no problem!



I hope you all like this one, if not to bad for you.

Micheal Eisner is property of himself, mind AND body.

Mickey is originally property of Walt Disney, but sadly no longer is.

Clarice and Gadget are also property of the Di$ney studios, who do nothing to revive these wonderful charachers.

Santa is property of America, and the northpole is his property.

CD, Lab Assistant and Salesman Robots are added by me, CD, to move the plot along a little (okay, so I did nothing, so sue me).

Good day and merry christmas, as long as you're not bent on world domination that is...

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