By Cyber Daimyo
Part Ten
Gadget Hackwrench: Welcome back to Rescue Rangers Celebrity Jeopardy. Before we begin the Double Jeopardy round, please refrain from blowing raspberries at me. With that said, let's take a look at the scores. Acorn Cafe member, Greyhound Bus has negative $2,300.
Greyhound Bus: I am not going to pay you the $2,300, Gadget. This is my money.
Gadget Hackwrench: For the last dad-gum time, you're playing for charity, not for your own money, okay? Cassandra has negative $1,800.
Cassandra: I'm proud to be Japanese.
Gadget Hackwrench: Yes, Cassandra, good for you. [ bows down ] And finally, back again, is Mepps with negative $6,900.
Mepps: [ laughs ] We meet again, you whimpy rascal!
Gadget Hackwrench: Please, Mepps, no more insulting. I've already had enough of this. It's time for Double Jeopardy and the categories are: Potent Potables, Circular Things, which are round objects, Star Wars, Kinds Of Arts, Hide-And-Seek, Movies, and finally, Super Heroes. Mepps, you are in third place, so we'll start with you.
Mepps: It looks like my day has come! I'll take Movies for $400.
Gadget Hackwrench: This 1997 movie starred the famous actor who played the role of the legendary Tejano singer, Selena Quintanilla Perez. [ nobody answers ] Mepps, you might want to take a shot at this. [ Mepps buzzes in ] Mepps.
Mepps: Who is, um, Tress MacNeille. [ buzzer ]
Gadget Hackwrench: No.
Mepps: Who do you think I am? Am I a stupid dork just like Dale? You wouldn't know it either if you didn't have those little cards with you!
Gadget Hackwrench: Your rotten attitude is depressing me. The answer is Jennifer Lopez.
Mepps: Hey! I was going to say that darn answer to you! I demand a do-over!
Gadget Hackwrench: It's too late for that, Mepps, but the board is still yours so you may pick the next category.
Cassandra: Uh, excuse me, can I just say something?
Gadget Hackwrench: [ confused ] What is it this time?
Cassandra: I'm also proud to be Chinese, just like Su Lin.
Gadget Hackwrench: Are you only joking or are you bothering me? Greyhound Bus, why don't you pick?
Greyhound Bus: Hey, Gadget, give me Star Wars because they're the coolest!
Gadget Hackwrench: For how much, Mr. Bus?
Greyhound Bus: Aw, well, [ singing like Dino ] that's the way it has to be because that's the way I like it. [ horn honks the song, "I Like It" by Dino ] Oh yeah! Let's do Star Wars for $600!
Gadget Hackwrench: I don't know why Merv Griffin and Cyber Daimyo are preventing me from quitting, but the show must go on. This 1977 movie is the beginning of the Star Wars movies. [ Greyhound Bus buzzes in ] Greyhound Bus.
Greyhound Bus: [ dancing and honking to the beat of Van McCoy's The Hustle ] Do the hustle! Do the hustle! Do the hustle!
Gadget Hackwrench: Are you talking about Van McCoy's The Hustle, Greyhound Bus?
Greyhound Bus: Of course I am! [ buzzer ]
Gadget Hackwrench: No. [ Cassandra buzzes in ] Cassandra.
Cassandra: I'm proud to be a disco girl!
Gadget Hackwrench: Okay already! We know! I'm proud to be a disco girl too, just like what my mother used to be. [ Mepps laughs ] However, that doesn't mean I have to tell everybody about it because the 1970s are over. Let's just go on with the game. Mepps, you pick the next category.
Mepps: Finally! I'll take Kinds of Hearts for $200.
Gadget Hackwrench: The category is Kinds of Arts, not Kinds of Hearts.
Mepps: Don't try to go uneasy on me, you dipstick!
Gadget Hackwrench: [ sighs ] I must be dreaming, how can you people be so stupid? And it's time for Final Jeopardy, and the category today is... [ looks at card ] you know what, this is too hard, I'll just invent one. [ throws away card ] How about your birthdate? Write your birthdate. [ Present day Final Jeopardy theme plays ] Any date will be accepted. For example, May 25th or December 7th. How about January 19th, which is my birth date. You can even lie to me if you wish. [ music ends ] Let's see how you goofed it all up. Cassandra, your answer is... [ screen shows a drawing of the American flag ] The American flag. This is a silly situation. And you wagered: America Never Surrenders. You must be an American, Cassandra.
Cassandra: America and Japan should be best friends because they are both hi-tech countries. [ laughs wildly as Mepps snickers ]
Gadget Hackwrench: All right, enough! Now let's see what Greyhound Bus, who is apparently doing the moonwalk, managed to write down... Smooth Criminal. Don't know why you drew that, but let's see your wager... [ picture shows Gadget, doing the moonwalk on the stage floor ] Me, doing the moonwalk. I always liked to do the moonwalk.
Greyhound Bus: Yeah, Gadget. That's why I saw you, doing the moonwalk on TV last week.
Gadget Hackwrench: I know, Greyhound Bus. I must be a true Michael Jackson fan. Now, Mepps, you answered... Fame. I'm confused with that one, but it's probably a 1982 song performed by Irene Cara. I really don't know what to say.
Mepps: Well, Gadget, you did dance to the beat of that song several months ago, haven't you?
Gadget Hackwrench: Yeah, I have. Let's check out what you've wagered... I'm gonna live forever.
Mepps: [ laughs ] Now I'm just like Chakan, The Forever Man! [ laughs wildly ]
Gadget Hackwrench: [ angry ] Okay, Mepps, enough!
Mepps: [ resumes laughing ] Admit it, Gadget! I surprised you, didn't I?
Gadget Hackwrench: Sure you did. Anyway, that's all for Rescue Rangers
Celebrity Jeopardy. I am now going to the movies to see Harry Potter. Good night.
[ Greyhound Bus does The Hustle as Gadget leaves the stage ]