By Jennifer Francine Davis & Tamera Liberto
The following fanfic is the cleaner edited version. Foxglove cannot believe the situation she got herself into. According to the contest of Miss Batty 1992 that she joined [entered], the winner *with her winning after several grueling tests she won...but now for the final achievement she must marry the wealthy lizard sponsoring this tournament in order to get the coveted title.
Scene-fades in to Ranger HQs as Foxy is telling Dale the bad news.
Foxy: ...So that's it...I have to marry this wealthy lizard or I don't get my title as Miss Batty.
Dale: Gee, that is horrible. Is there anything we can do gang?
Gadget: Golly! Sorry, Dale; I would like to help you guys come up with a plan, but Jimmy(Hitrat) has been acting very strange lately...
Monty: What's bugging the blighter, Gadget luv?
Gadget: I don't know. That's why I have kept him in a solitary confinement cell & uh....besides Monty...
[Gadget whispers something to Monty's ear she'd rather not let Dale,Zipper and Foxy know about]
Monty: Tooraloo! Are you sure about that?
Gadget: [nodding] It's not a very pretty picture.
Airborn: I think I have an idea, seeing that the boss is has gone thoroughly coocoo. Foxy has to marry that lizard, right?
Foxy: But, Davy! I don't want to!
Airborn: Who said you had to? I say we slip that rich green dummy a faker Foxy.
Gadget: You mean guise one of us as Foxglove? Like I said, I can't. I still need more tests on Jimmy.
Airborn: [thinking up for a ploy] Which one of us here has exactly the same height,weight& etc,etc,&whatever as Foxglove, huh? Chipper is.
Chip: ME!? Are you crazy!? I don't look a thing like a female. Besides I didn't do so hot the day we saved Tami and Bink from Fat Cat's gang.
Airborn: Because you yayhoos did not have the right technology.
[Airborn looks meaningfully at Gadget]
Gadget: [blushes] Oops.
Airborn: And Roger,Sean and George do. They have everything to make Chip look like Foxglove.
Chip: Wait a second here Foxy just WHY do you have to marry this lizard?
Dale: HEY! Are you coming down on Foxy, huh?
[Dale grabs Chip and the two start a melay]
[a beeper goes off in Gadget's pocket]
Gadget: Oh golly, Jimmy is up to something again. I better go check on him.
Airborn: You do that, go on Gadget-- Monty,Foxy,Zipper and myself will make sure Buster Douglas & Riddick Bowe here don't have a major PPV.
[Airborn separates Chip & Dale]
Airborn: [continuing] Back off! I'm the Don King around here, without the hair of course... and more feathers...
Foxglove: Please Dale, let me tell everyone how this started...
[fade to black as Foxy explains to the group how this all came to be and fade from black]
Foxy: [continuing] That's when I came over here looking from help from you-my friends. I do hope Hitrat[Jimmy] is all right too.
Chip: He will be. He is a trooper, and a survivor.
[Gadget ENTERS A shocked expression is on her face.]
Monty: What happened, l...
Gadget: Monty, please don't ask, please?
Monty: Uh, sure thing Gadget.
Dale: Wow! It must be something.
[GADGET narrows her eyes at DALE.]
Gadget: [coldly]You have no earthly idea. I'm going to take a nap. I'm exhausted. If anyone asks, or tries to attempt to get Jimmy out...I'll hurt you. I mean it. Later all!
[Gadget proceeds as smiles walking out]
Gadget: Yes, I mean it Dale. Do not try my patience, please.
[Gadget finally EXITS to her room for a nice long nap]
Airborn: She is serious... that's scary. Gadget isn't letting me see Jim, and I'm his best friend since Kindergarten, so that's saying something. Foxy, you want our help, you got it. But just remember this: Chip impersonation of you is a very very serious risk.
Foxglove: Why is that, Davy?
Airborn: If we try to clone you there maybe side effects... but Sean and Rog are setting it down in permanent form. If not that then the impersonation will work & then during the course of the wedding it might wear off Chip, getting everyone angry. Chip may suffer side effects.
Chip: I don't feel so good...
Airborn: [to Chip]Oh come on, tough it out kid.
Foxglove: What side effects are there?
Airborn: No idea, our three beloved team of experts don't even know. That's why we need plenty o' time. When is the wedding? There's the question of the millennium...
Foxglove: 48 hours from now.
Airborn: Jee, why such short notice?
Foxglove: The "Miss Batty pageant" was put together quickly.
Monty: Still, they should give you time and all. Like to get to know this Lizard and such.
[Thaddeus P. Wellington a tall and slender rich lizard wearing a blue fancy suit with combed back slicked hair and a monocle over his left eye and his arms are behind his back ENTERS the tree]
Wellington: You need not Mister Colby; I am here. Well, what a bunch of ragamuffins! However, I see a beautiful dandelion amongst the weeds.
[Wellinting kisses Foxy's wing]
Foxglove: Uhh... thank you...
Dale: Hey you! Why I ought...
[Wendell a huge over grown Mongoose in white dress shirt, gray pants and red suspends ENTERS]
Wendell: Yo! You wanted something, boss?
Thad: Get this Chip-punk out my sight.
Airborn: Back off, stinker!
Wendell: Well well well David Sanders haven't seen youse since the Giants-Eagles game of 1991... you lousy cheater!
Airborn: Look Banks, you knew full well that play was mine and I scored right, you just are way too slow for me.
Wendell: Yeah, well, the Ref shouldn't have used instant reply you scrawny feather- duster...
Airborn: I'll show you feather-duster, snake-killer...
[Chip clears his throat]
Chip: Can you two settle this less violently?
Thad: [yawns] For once Oakmount your common friend has a good valid point...what a rarity.
Dale: HEY! That's my best friend.
Thad: Well then I guess that's where they paraphrase the line of "Monkey See-Monkey Do". I won't cause any more trouble. Wendell, enough. I know you Rescue Rangers...& I know you Mr.Sanders will send in your Springhare(Sean),Kangaroo(George) & Fox(Roger) to copy my fiancée through Mr.Maplewood...A warning to you good sir, if you so happen to go with that deed I will have no choice but to have the police on you for disturbing the peace, breaking & entering through Mr.Maplewood as Foxglove, and for violating contest rules which are protected by official law...is that clear?
Airborn: Uh I was clear on the "I know" part but you lost me after that.
Thad: Odds botkins! Bah, let's go Wendell...fools. That was your last warning. Good day gentlemen and I use that term very loosely.
[Thad walks out & as Wendell follows glaring at Airborn]
Monty: That guy has some nerve.
Chip: Yeah and a load of brass too.
Dale: He's gonna loose that brass once I get him, I say we help the guys on the duplicated machine!
Airborn: Sounds good to me, the more we help them the faster this will work.
Chip: Didn't you guys hear his warning?
Airborn: Chip, just because he threatened to bring down the law on us does not nessicarily mean we should not crash that wedding.
Dale: I thought you didn't hear that part after "I know".
Airborn: Dale...I was being sarcastic & funny. Lighten up bro.
Chip: Yeah we should help Foxy-wait a minute where is she?
Monty: Right here a second a ago mates.
Dale: That does it! Wellington has gone too far now...it's personal! [screams angrily running away from HQ]
Chip: Dale! Stop!
Monty: Come back Mate!
Airborn: Great now he is gone too! Guys I'm wondering something since when did ya have to marry someone to be a contest winner?
Monty: No idea mate but something about Thad & Wendell looked awfully familiar....
Chip: Rat Capone's hoods? Sugar Ray Lizard &Arnold Mousenegger?
Airborn: Nah SRL has a raspy voice and he ain't from London. Arnold is not a mongoose and that ain't no costume either. Besides why would Rat Capone send his henchmen to do a job like this?
Chip: Maybe you should answer the question of marrying someone to be a contest winner then Dave.
Airborn: Too see if they can prove themselves as housewifes?
Monty: Maybe Wellington is looking for more....
Airborn: Doesn't matter. Foxy is missing, Dale just snapped, Gadget is snoozing and on a verge of a nervous breakdown and who knows what's plauging Jim. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
[scene fades away from Ranger HQ]
[Just outside the city limits]
Thad: As I suspected they fell right into my trap Wendell...now we have them. I have always wanted to see the downfall of the Rescue Rangers...who knows why with that bird out of the way your Giants can win the Super Bowl again.
Wendell: Yeah...if this plan goes according boss.
Thad: Oh it will my friend, it very well will.
[fade out. Scene fades into RR Research Lab]
[In the RR Research Lab Sean(the Springhare) & George(The Kangaroo) are finalizing the finishing touches on the facade machine that will make Chip into a faker Foxglove]
George: Got it calibrated right?
Sean: Yes, this facade machine is all ready for testing that is to say if Owen & Roger are already to go..
[A musclar orange cat & a British fox enter the lab]
Roger: Is the machine ready?
George: Yep. Just needs the info from you blokes and we can make this test mayhaps a successful once.
Owen: This won't hurt, won't it?
Sean: No not really. This is just a minmuin test so we can use it on full power. Let's begin.
[George sits down to operate the main computer of the machine]
[Sean sits at the operations table]
Sean: I'm turning on the machine now and collecting Owen's data.
[Airborn enters the lab unbentioced to others no one sees him as of yet]
Sean: Allright I got. Step onto the platform, Roger.
[Roger proceeds to step onto the platform &George types in the data received from Owen to turn Roger into a faker Owen]
Roger: (as Owen) Wow! I feel different! Jee Owen, taxi like diamond & big blue baggy pants?
Owen: Hey hey don't knock it Roger. I'm my own tailor. I think it worked.
[Airborn finally makes himself noticed and steps from out of the shadows]
Airborn: What a bunch of dummies you guys are what good will it do us if we did not record the data from Foxy?
Sean: Once again Airborn you fail to realize the important facts, [looks at George to give Dave an explanation] George?
George: I believe & no offence sir but we already recorded Foxy's info. We got everyone's already, we just needed to add Owen's today for testing.
Airborn: None taken Rooz. So your telling me you got everyone's DNA in that computer?
Sean: Everyone that's from the Rescue Rangers.
Airborn: Well I guess I'm the dummy then...that's something else. Why didn't you McBojo's tell me before?
[Foxy now flies into the shadows unbenoticed to the others not seen yet]
George: Uh well because you never asked us.
Owen: One thing about us mammals you got to admit we are very more better knowledgeable to the situation then you birds.
Airborn: Okay Owen you got me there. Just becareful when you are resurrected as a bird & me as a cat.
[As Airborn & Owen cogitate George & Sean reverse Roger back to normal]
Roger: So. When do we facade Chip into Foxy?
[Foxy strolls slowly out of the shadows sadly]
[The depressed bat sadly walks into view]
Airborn: You can't do this. Weddings are a very important thing in your life.
Sean: Foxy, weddings are not made they are bonds between two people who loved for a long time and are ready for that very commitment.
George: You've got to stop & think about the most important decision in your life, whether or not you agree to this lie.
Roger: Foxglove...all this we may say to you might not be important to others but you are a special person in all our lives. We care about you & love you no matter what. What is important is how we do things in life. Weddings are things not to be jumped into like this.
Foxglove: Guys, I appreciate all of your concern...but this is something I have to do..so I can satisfy Thad & he can finally leave Dale,I & you guys alone.
Owen: But that means you will give into him, forget everything you did for us Foxy, not realizing the truth, standing for you principals and giving into a shallow bully such as Wellington. That is just not right, you've got to boycott this wedding Foxy even if it means giving up Miss Batty of the year.
Foxglove: By sending in a facade me Owen? Then your words are empty. I'm very sorry but I must do this decision alone whether if it means humbling myself. No offense Owen I know you & the rest care about & love me but as Airborn said there are risks....maybe not physically but mental. Now you all understand why I have to do this. [hugs each of them & gives Owen a small kiss on the check,running out crying]
Airborn: Wow. I'm flabbergasted...
Sean: I'm squechled...bah! [slams his fist in the machine]
Roger: I'm very puzzled.
George: I have computer pan hands...owie.
Owen: If you guys only knew how I'M feeling...
Airborn: We get the general idea Owen.
[Wendell enters in the lab]
Wendell: Yo Sanders!
Airborn: Hey Banks this area is authorized personel only. Take a hike.
Wendell: Just want to invites youse to the Boss' mansion...he wishes a word with yas.
Airborn: [sighs] okay okay...well gentlemen I can see we will have to continue this discussion later. TA!
[the two arrive at Mr.Wellington's plush mansion]
Wendell: [points to the other end of the pool side sitting down with two chameleons in very small bikinis]Over there.
Airborn: Why don't I just fly over there...it will be a lot less further.
[Airborns flies over to where Wellington is]
Thad: Well glad you could join us Mr.Sanders can I get you anything?
Airborn: Trout. Ice tea.
Thad: Very well. Dennis!
Dennis the butler: Yes sir?
Thad: Bring Mr.Sanders rainbow trout & lemon spiced tea.
Dennis: Yes sir. Very good sir
[Dennis proceeds off to get the items requested]
Airborn: Why am I here?
Thad: First answer. Very encouragable I see. The answer-I'm going to give you Rescue Rangers a sporting chance. If you can act like proper lady & gentlemen I shall invite you to the wedding & then afterward annul the wedding so Mr.Oakmount & Foxy live happily ever after.
Airborn: This sounds disconcerting...
Thad: Mr.Sanders I'm not a disporting lizard. I give everyone equal opportunities.
Airborn: Such as life.
Thad: Ha ha ha. You amuse me Mr.Sanders. So I make you the best man, I request however though that this be a proper marriage I request that Mr.Colby be the father of the bride , Miss Hackwrench as the bride's maid & Mr.Groundchuck as the Minister. We will even have a great karoke wedding singer from the south-highly acclaimed- a Ms.Trixie Tailfeather.
Airborn: Well okay...but Jim can't.
Thad: Mr.Groundchuck can't...why not?
Airborn: Um he has come down...[looks at his watch....the lavender emergency light takes over the whole watch screen goes off flashing back & forth] ((Oh no...not now Gadget...I'm busy))
Thad: Mr.Sanders is something that matter? What is wrong with Mr.Groundchuck?
Airborn: [nonchalantly slams the watch to shut it off & looks at Wellington with a spooked look on his face] He uh went to his family reunion won't be back for days.
Thad: Oh...I see. I will just get someone else then. But you, Miss Hackwrench &Mr.Colby except?
Airborn: Yeah we do...
[Dennis returns with the trout & tea]
Thad: Excellent. Enjoy your meal as well.
[Sanders begins to eat & drink as the scene fades out]
[Airborn returns to HQ to explain everything]
Airborn: We are invited. Now Gadget what was the emergency you flashed on my watch?
Chip: On all our watches?
Gadget: Big big trouble guys. Jimmy is gone from his cell!
Airborn: OH NO....now we are gonna get it.
Monty: This is terrible mates, what can we do now?
Gadget: Golly WHAT can we do?
Airborn: There is only one person desperate enough not to mention crazy enough to take Jim.....
Chip: Yeah & did you get anything else from Wellington, Dave?
Airborn: Only that he is gonna have a southern female karoke duck singer...that's it! I know what drove Hitrat over the edge like this! That female blond duck from the "Duxorist" Daffy Duck abandoned her but Jim stayed around to keep her company..
Gadget: But that was in the mid 80's Airborn.
Airborn: That's why the separation was too harsh on him Gadget...and that's bad, uh oh. Dale has Jim.
Gadget: Golly....how do you figure that Airborn?
Airborn: Gadget who else what attempt that kinda stunt...
Airborn: We have to stop that wedding proto..& we got 3 hours to get their too, let's get ready guys!
Chip: But what about Hitrat?
Airborn: Well will have to find him & Dale later right now *we gotta get to the church on time.*
Scene fades out...
The Wellington estate where the backyard is transformed into a luxiours wedding where police are disguised as caterers & Wellington is talking to them
Thad: They are tresspassing..after the wedding is over. Arrest them.
Meanwhile Gadget has found Foxy in the back
Gadget: Hey there you are!
Foxy: Oh Gadget I don't know if I want to go through with this or not. My dignity will be destroyed, I really can't lose my sanity much worse.
Gadget: Foxglove after the things I've seen in the last few days sanity is the least bit of thing to worry about, well okay I'm wrong. Look don't worry about it, Wellington will annul the wedding after you two are married.
Foxglove: That's great news. Maybe I won't even have to kiss him. This is so good.
[the two prepare as the scene fades out to the chruch]
Gadget & Foxglove move towards the outer hall. The wedding proceeds as Owen starts playing the church organ...
Wellington & Airborn stand at the alter. Two children mice walk down as one drops flower petals & the other one carries the rings on a pillow. numerous females walk down the isle as brides' maids carrying bouquets of expensive flowers. Airborn has his watch set for Squal Richard's slam team on stand by...Then Gadget comes out followed by Monterey Jack escorting Foxy down the isle. Foxy is a bit nervous. They stop at the alter & the Priest begins...
Priest: We will begin by our karoke singer Miss Trixie Tailfeather singing praises & glory to the happy couple.
[Dale sneaks around the back unnoticed to everyone else but realizes Hitrat is still too ill and cannot procede to help him stop the wedding so Dale activates Hitrat's watch-com to beams him back to HQ in his recliner]
The crowd applauds as the female southern blond duck who is wearing a red pretty dress approaches the stages & begins singing.
Trixie: We are all here today to celebrate this grand wedding so...[slow beat kinda strange rhythm] (Trixie starts to sing Karoke style) congrats to the happy couple...hope ya'lls kinfolk are happy too....
[Trixie starts to forget her lines and starts to sweat]
Airborn: [mutters] First time for everything.
[Six mice ushers pick up the fainted Duck and carry her to the the back for a good rest]
Priest: Uh perhaps we should forget the singing part & move on with the wedding..ahem..[clears his throat] Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to join this lizard & this bat into holy matrimony. Who givith this beautiful bride?
Monty: I givith.
Priest: Very well we shall continue. Be there anyone here who wises these 2 not to be wed speak now or forever hold their peace.
Dale: Stop! Foxy I just found out this thing is a phony. Miss Batty of the year is not real.
Foxglove: Are you sure about this?
Dale: Yeah he even got police to arrest us Rescue Rangers.
Thad: Allright fine you got me but they will get you! Officers! Arrest these trespassers!
[A perrigrin falcon enters the area , wearing basketball Outfit]
Squal: Nothing doing boyo.
Squal: As you can plainly see my Slam Team told those "doughnut eaters" to leave. You however are under arrest Wellington for having a phony contest trying to falsely be protected by the law. That's a very bad felony.
Thad: Allright I will go quietly but this is not the end of me you hear!
Wendell: What about me?
Airborn: Well Banks seeing as how you cooperated the judge show should leniency in your case but I'd watch it. Com. Paul Tailiguebu might not like this.
Wendell: Yeah yeah I know.
[Slam Team takes the two away]
Airborn: Hey Squal..[sees Trixie in three folding chairs asleep] isn't that Trixie Tailfeather?
Squal: Why, yes it sure is. What should we do with her Dave?
Airborn: I think we should make a reunion with Hitrat.
Squal: [thumbs up] Allrights sounds cool to me.
[The two birds pick up Trixie and carry her off to RR HQ]
[scene fades out]
[Next scene Foxy is on the church roof top crying at midnight while Dale struggles to climb up and tries to comfort her]
Dale: Foxy don't cry honey you will always be Miss Batty of the year to me.
Foxglove: But Dale I always wanted something good in my life to prove I'm a somebody. You guys though did nothing wrong-It's me I always fail you. I'll never ever be successful...just a dried up old bat...Dale, you don't deserve me...I'm no good for you. You better find somebody else.
Dale: Foxy. I will not. The day I met you my heart always was yours you know you brought such great happiness to me, I will never forget that or you. You are special to me Foxglove you bright up my day when I'm feeling down.
Foxglove: But look at us both...we are both clumsy..& we never get anything right.
Dale: That's not important Foxy, sure life isn't always peachy keen but I like to think I love my life & I love you. Yes, we are clumsy but who isn't our hearts are the most important thing Foxy our love for each other is important we enjoy a good laugh, cry & all the things we do that we do in live. I'm clumsy,silly & danged proud of it.
Foxy: I guess I can be happy knowing I have a sweet cute good looking chipmunk with me all the time maybe someday we can get married?
Dale: Yeah but for now Rescue Rangers are always needed to solve those crimes! Are you with me?
Foxy: Zowie! You bettter believe I am!
[grabs him & gives him a big wet one on the lips]
It is the next day at Ranger HQ, Hitrat is coming around in his recliner with Trixie on the couch waking up as well
Hitrat: [groggily] What...what...what happened to me?
Trixie: [wakes up too] Oh ma stars...[gasps & sees Hitrat] Jim!
Hitrat: Hey Trixs how ya doing? What's going on? I just went through this crazy dream.
Trixie: Ah did too...ah was at this wedding an' singin' an ah forgot my lines and then ah fainted and here am I.
Trixie: Darlin' ah passed out from stage fright.
Hitrat: [finally got his senses back] Oh ok, so uh like uh you wanna go get breakfast somewhere?
Trixie: Ah'd love to you strong handsome sweet yankie.
[the two kiss each other & head off to a local cafe arm in arm]
[Scene fades out again]
Airborn Sanders-Lorenzo Music(Garfeild)
Dale Oakmount-Corey Burton
Gadget Hackwrench/Chip Maplewood-Tress Macneille
Monterey Jack/Dennis the Butler-Jim Cummings
Squal Richards-Mike Liberto(Nick's older bro)
Thaddeus P. Wellington-Rob Paulsen
Wendell Banks-Mark Bravaro
Sean Remington-Sean Connery
George Roozenby-George Lazenby
Roger Foxx-Roger Moore
Owen Calhoun-Chris Benoit
Trixie Tailfeather-B.J. Ward
and of course...
Hitrat(Jim Groundchuck)-N.LibertoBack to the stories