A Romance of the ages
I’m not sure if the debate on whether Foxglove is insectivorous or omnivorous is as big a deal as the Chip+Gadget debate. However, it is my belief that Foxglove IS insectivorous.
Note the size of her ears: large. It is a scientific fact that insectivorous bats have larger ears than fruit bats, as insectivores would need them to seek out their prey. Fruit doesn’t try to run from you, so fruit bats don’t need them. Also, note what species of bat Foxglove most closely resembles: a pallid bat. The pallid bat is… insectivorous! I’m not really sure what would have led some people to believe that Foxglove is a fruit bat, but whatever the reason was, these people have no argument whatsoever. With that out of the way, I’m proud to present A Romance of the ages, the first fic of it’s kind (you’ll see what I mean ).
Foxglove sat with her head on the table. She sighed as she looked upon Dale. He was been her true love, her knight in shining armor… Once. That was when she first met him. Back at the drive-in, when she had first laid eyes on him (or rather, ears on him), he had appeared so dashing, so handsome. His shy, cute antics made her heart melt… Once. It had been a few months since the Winifred incident, and Foxglove had been living with the Rangers. Over the months, Dale had opened up, and Foxglove had gotten to know him better… And she didn’t like what she saw. From the whoopee cushions, to the fake vomit, to the heavy metal music, to the WWE; Dale was just too immature for her. When she had first met him, he seemed so different. The way he bragged about spending an entire night digging the moon rock out of the bagpipe express; he had seemed so strong. The way he had refused to dissert her when she had Winifred distracted; he had seemed so brave and noble. However, much to her dismay, Foxglove had found that the majority of the time, Dale acted like some kind of makeup-less clown; he seemed so… so…
“Hey Foxy!” Came Dale’s voice.
“Yes Da— *SPLAT*”
Foxglove sat up and turned around, only to be hit in the face with a pie.
Dale fell on the floor giggling insanely.
Foxglove simply wiped the cream from her face and sighed.
“Aww, what’s wrong Foxy?” Dale asked sympathetically. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No,” Foxglove began. “It’s just—”
“HEY!” Dale shouted, running over to the TV. “Peewee’s Play House is on!”
Foxglove sighed again. Once Dale was distracted, it was no use trying to reach him.
“Hey.” Came a squeaky voice from behind her.
Foxglove spun around, only to see Zipper hovering behind her, bearing a towel.
“Oh,” Foxglove said, taking the towel and beginning to wipe the cream off of her face. “Thanks Zipper.”
“No problem.” Zipper buzzed, flying away.
“Zipper.” Foxglove thought to herself. Whenever someone made a mess, he was always there to help clean it up. He was so kind and responsible, not to mention cute… Foxglove’s eyes widened in surprise. “What am I thinking!” She thought to herself, quickly standing up. “Zipper’s a fly; I eat flies!” She shook her head. “I’m not falling in love with ZIPPER…” Slowly, Foxglove sat back down. “…Am I?”
Suddenly, Dale’s laugh could be heard from across the room. “HA!” He laughed, pointing at the TV. “Giant underpants.”
For the rest of the day, Foxglove managed to keep Zipper out of her head. She avoided
him whenever possible… that is, until the end of the day, during dinner.
What usually happened was this: Foxglove would go out to the nearby park lamp and feed on the moths flying around it. Shortly after, she would come inside and join the Rangers for dinner. Having already eaten, she wouldn’t partake of anything. Instead, she would simply join them in whatever conversation they were having. Tonight, Monterey was entertaining everyone with a story from his past.
“So there I was,” Monterey rambled, “Surrounded by crocodiles. Nothin in me hands but a broken toothpick and some bubblegum. ‘Corse, I’d been in tougher situations than this, so…”
Normally, Foxglove loved listening to Monterey’s stories. Tonight however, she couldn’t
focus. Her attention kept shifting itself to Zipper. Zipper never interrupted; he
just sat, listening intently. He was such a good listener, unlike Dale.
Foxglove turned her head to Dale.
Every time she tried to talk to him, it was like he was in another world. Foxglove recalled a conversation she had tried having with him not too long ago…
“…And so when I got there,” Foxglove explained, “There was almost none left, but…” She trailed off when she noticed that Dale’s eyes were focused on the watches on the wall behind her. “So,” She continued, deciding to test whether or not Dale was listening, “after that, my head fell off. But luckily, I was able to sew it back on with dental floss.”
“Uh huh.” Dale muttered, nodding his head.
Trying to hold a conversation with Dale was like talking to a wall… With a tape player glued to it.
Foxglove turned her gaze back to Zipper. Now there was a bug who could listen. She recalled a conversation she had had with him too.
When she had first moved in, The Rangers went on a case involving a band of thieves composed of frogs. For his own safety, Zipper stayed home. However, instead of watching TV all day, he took advantage of the situation and showed Foxglove around her new home. All had gone well for the first five minutes, until she broke down and began to cry. When Zipper patted her on the back, she launched into a ten minute telling of her life story; from when she was born, to when she had met Winifred, to when she had met the Rangers. Immediately after finishing, she quickly glanced over at Zipper, afraid that she had bored him to sleep. However, Zipper was not only awake, but gave her some psychological advice as well. He had been listening the entire time!
“Foxglove?” Came Gadget’s voice.
Foxglove looked up; everybody at the table was looking at her. Had she completely zoned out? How long had they been trying to get her attention?
“Golly, are you alright?” Gadget asked with concern. “When you didn’t answer, we thought you had passed out.”
“No no! I was listening!” Foxglove protested nervously. “I thought Monty handled those Crocodiles really well!”
The Rangers stared at her for a moment before Chip spoke up.
“We were talking about the death penalty.” He said calmly, making sure he didn’t embarrass her.
“Oh, yes!” Foxglove said, pretending to have simply slipped up on her explanation. “I don’t think there should be a penalty for dying.”
Dale burst into laughter. “Th-that’s so great Foxy,” Dale said in-between laughs. “Where do you come up with that stuff!?”
Foxglove’s ears drooped. Never before had she felt so embarrassed.
“Dale!” Gadget scolded.
“What?” Dale protested. “Foxy’s funny!”
When Foxglove had first met him, she would have been relieved that Dale thought she was joking. Now however, she felt almost indifferent about what he thought about her.
“She’s probably just tired” Zipper buzzed from the end of the table.
“Yes!” Foxglove quickly agreed. “I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night; I’ve been kind of woozy all day.”
“I know what ya mean Foxy-luv.” Monterey said, chiming in. “Reminds me o’ the time…”
With that, Monty launched into another story. Foxglove couldn’t believe it, “Saved by the buzz!” She glanced down the table at him. He was listening intently to Monterey’s story.
“Such a good listener…” Foxglove thought dreamily, starring at Zipper.
Then, disaster struck.
While listening to Monterey’s story, Zipper noticed Foxglove out of the corner of his eye. She was staring lovingly at someone. It couldn’t be him, could it? Slowly, he turned to face her, a look of shock on his face. She was staring at him!
“Oh no!” Foxglove thought to herself, tuning a bright red and quickly looking away. “He saw me looking! Oh…” Foxglove thought to herself. “Maybe it was just a reaction to Monty’s story.” She slowly glanced in Zipper’s direction. He was definitely looking at her; a puzzled, surprised expression on his face.
Again, Foxglove turned away. “Ooooh, he did see me.” Foxglove thought to herself, looking straight ahead. “He probably thinks I’m crazy… Who am I kidding, I am crazy! I’m supposed to eat bugs, not fall in love with them!
“Hmm…” Gadget thought to herself. There was definitely something going on between Foxglove and Zipper, but she seemed to be the only person at the table to notice it. “Golly, that look Foxglove was giving Zipper, and Zipper’s reaction…” Gadget thought, her eyes going back and forth between the two. “Oh my gosh!” She thought, her eyes widening. “Is Foxglove—”
“Somethin’ the matter Gadget-luv” Monterey asked, noticing the look in Gadget’s eyes.
“Oh,” Gadget said, quickly thinking of something to explain her reaction. “I guess I’m just tired too.”
“Now that I think about it,” Chip added, “I’m feeling pretty tired myself. We should all get to bed early tonight.”
“Suits me just fine.” Monterey said, stretching. “That case today was a whopper. How bout’ you Zippa?” Monterey asked, turning to Zipper.
“Um…” Zipper buzzed, his eyes momentarily darting back to Foxglove. “Yeah, me too.”
“Aw, but Chip!” Dale moaned. “What about monster truck mayhem? I was gonna watch that tonight!”
Foxglove shuddered. She had been sleeping on the living room ceiling, and whenever Dale stayed up to watch TV, it always kept her awake.
“Didn’t you already see that this morning?” Chip asked skeptically.
“Yeah,” Dale answered. “But it’s twice as cool the second time around!”
“Dale.” Chip said firmly “Just go to bed tonight. Besides, You’re probably keeping Foxglove awake!”
“No I’m not!” Dale protested angrily. He turned to Foxglove. “Am I, Foxy?”
“Um…” Foxglove began timidly, not wanting to hurt Dale’s feelings. “…no.”
“See.” Dale said, sticking his tongue out at Chip. “Foxy says it’s fine—”
“GO TO BED!”
Later that night, as Foxglove perched herself in the ceiling over the couch, preparing
to doze off, Gadget walked into the room, dressed in her nighty.
“Goodnight Gadget.” Foxglove said sleepily, beginning to close her eyes.
“Zipper.” Gadget said calmly.
Foxglove’s eyes burst open and swiveled on Gadget. “Wh… What about him?” She asked timidly.
Gadget moved closer and sat on the couch. “The way you were looking at him tonight…”
“*gulp*, yes?” Foxglove acknowledged nervously.
Gadget thought for a moment about how to phrase it, but then decided to just come out and say it. “Are you in love with him?”
“YES!” Foxglove blurted out, tears spewing from her eyes, “YES! YES!” She cried as she began to swing up and down, banging her head on the ceiling. “I just don’t know what’s wrong with meeeeeeee!” Foxglove stopped hitting her head against the ceiling and hung back down. She looked at Gadget with tear filled eyes, expecting a look of fear and puzzlement. However, instead, Gadget looked at her, much in the way a high school girl would look at one of her friends if she found out that they had a boyfriend.
“Foxglove.” Gadget began, putting her hands together. “That’s so sweet!”
“…Really?” Foxglove asked, unsure as to whether Gadget was joking or not.
“Of course!” she continued. “You’re an insectivorous bat, and Zipper’s an insect! The fact that you’ve fallen in love with him proves that love has no bounds! It’s so romantic!”
Foxglove was not sure what she was more shocked about: That Gadget actually approved
of a predator falling for its prey, or that for the first time, Gadget sounded like
a regular girl (as opposed to a nuclear physicist).
“I love him,” Foxglove continued, “but the way he looked at me during dinner, he…” She trailed off, tears welling in her eyes.
“I saw.” Gadget said calmly, reaching up and patting Foxglove’s shoulder.
“He looked at me like I tried to eat him!” Unable to emotionally contain herself any longer, Foxglove wrapped her wings completely around herself, closing up like an umbrella.
“Oh, Foxglove” Gadget said reassuringly. “Zipper’s not afraid of you.”
“Yes he is!” Foxglove said, her voice slightly muffled by her wings.
“Zipper was just surprised.” Gadget continued. “If you found out that a handsome fox you had been living with for a while had the hots for you, how would you react at first?”
“I’d be scared.” Foxglove said timidly.
“And if he really wanted to be with you, would you give him a chance?
“…Maybe.” Foxglove answered, her pouting dying down.
“And if you ended up loving him back…” Gadget trailed off. She didn’t have to say anymore.
“So,” Foxglove began, slowly opening her wings. “You’re saying that I should see how Zipper reacts to us seeing each other, and if he’s fine with it…”
Gadget smiled and nodded.
Zipper lie awake, staring at the ceiling. Since the day he first laid eyes on her, he hadn’t been able to keep Foxglove off of his mind. She was beautiful, smart, funny, and… Dale’s. “But Dale doesn’t deserve someone like Foxglove.” Zipper thought angrily. Dale never paid any attention to her, and as of late, Zipper was beginning to get the feeling that Foxglove was becoming less and less attracted to him. Zipper had often fantasized about Foxglove and himself: going out on dates, watching TV together, and even sleeping in her wings. It was just a dream, he knew, but the way Foxglove had looked at him during dinner; it was as if she were actually… Zipper shook his head. “Of course not!” He thought roughly to himself, “How could she be in love with me?! I’m A fly!” through the hole (door) of his room, he could see Foxglove hanging from the ceiling, apparently asleep. She always positioned herself over the couch so if she woke up and fell, her head would hit a soft pillow, rather than the hard floor. Such a smart idea; such a smart girl!
Unable to sleep, Zipper left his room and flew over to the couch. Once there, he landed on a cushion and looked up at the giant sleeping bat.
“She looks so gentle when she’s asleep… and when she’s awake.” He thought to himself, moving a little closer to her face.
Suddenly, Foxglove licked her lips, causing Zipper to jump back. “What am I, nuts?!”
He buzzed, stumbling backwards and looking up at Foxglove’s tummy. “I don’t want
to wind up in there!”
With that, Zipper turned around and began to fly back to his room… That is, until a sleepy voice came from behind him.
Zipper spun around, only to see Foxglove looking back at him. Whether it was his little soliloquy or the buzzing of his wings that had woken her up, one thing was for certain, Foxglove was awake.
“Um…” Zipper buzzed nervously. “I…”
Foxglove looked at him. “He looks so nervous.” She thought to herself. “He’s probably still freaked out about dinner.” Foxglove began to feel herself turning red again. she was just glad that it was too dark for zipper to notice.
Zipper froze. He wanted to fly back to his room, but how bad would that look?!
“What should I do?” He thought to himself. “If I fly away she’ll think I’m blowing
her off, and I’ll never be able to… I’ve got to tell her!” He thought firmly.
“Foxglove?” He began timidly.
“I LOVE YOU!” They both shouted simultaneously.
Foxglove and Zipper stared at each other for a moment. “You do?” They both asked at once, looks of joy and relief spreading across their faces.
Foxglove wasn’t sure what to say. Zipper actually felt the same way about her! “But,” Foxglove began excitedly, “the way you looked at me during dinner, I thought you were afraid of that!”
“You just startled me!” Zipper explained, equally as excited. “I’ve fantasized that you liked me, but when you showed signs that you actually did, I didn’t know what to think.” Zipper paused, suddenly realizing something. “But, what about Dale? I thought that you loved him.
“That was before I got to know him better.” Foxglove explained. “I
mean, Could you love a guy like that?
“I am a guy.” Zipper buzzed, very matter-of-factly.
“Oh… right.” Foxglove said sheepishly.
“But this is so great!” Zipper continued. “We both feel the same way about each other!”
“I know!” Foxglove added, bouncing a little. “I’m too excited to go to sleep. But I’m so tired…” Foxglove trailed off. Suddenly an idea popped into her head. “Hey,” she began, opening her wings welcomingly “Do you wanna sleep in my wings?” She asked, smiling. “You know, like a stuffed animal.”
A look a pure, undiluted happiness spread across Zipper’s face. “…Yes…” He wheezed. It was too perfect; his fantasies were coming true! Without the slightest bit of hesitation, Zipper turned himself upside down and flew into Foxglove’s outstretched wings.
Foxglove giggled as she closed her wings around him. His little buzzing wings tickled her tummy.
However, as Foxglove’s wings closed around him, something happened. He became filled with fear and dread. Whether it was a natural instinct or something else, Zipper wasn’t sure. All he knew, was that a little voice deep inside him was shouting: “GET OUT OF THERE! GET OUT OF THERE BEFORE YOU GET EATEN!!!”
“Is something wrong love-bug?” Foxglove asked innocently as she snuggled him tight.
“N-no.” Zipper buzzed. “I’m fine.”
“Mmm, Goodnight.” Foxglove said sleepily, closing her eyes.
“G-goodnight.” Zipper stammered, trying to calm himself down. He couldn’t believe
this was happening! Here he was, in Foxglove’s arms, and he was panicking! “Well,
I can see why this instinct would be here.” Zipper thought to himself. “I mean, most
bats would eat me.” He looked up (or down, depending on your point of view) at Foxglove’s
sleeping face. “Except for this one.” He thought to himself, smiling.
Who was he kidding? He had absolutely nothing to worry about! Foxglove might be several times his size, and be capable of devouring him, but she wouldn’t.
Zipper felt himself calming down. Smiling, he began to drift off…
Zippers eyes burst open, as he felt Foxglove’s soft belly vibrate. Her stomach was
growling! Zipper could feel himself turning white with fear. He knew his scent was
probably the cause of what just happened. He looked up at Foxglove’s face; she was
licking her lips again.
“Well,” He thought nervously to himself. “Eventually, I’ll grow accustom to this. It’ll become the white noise of our relationship.” He paused for a moment. “Maybe I should go get a drink.” He buzzed, leaving Foxglove’s wings… or trying to at least. Despite Foxglove’s gentle personality, she was actually pretty strong. Zipper wiggled around for a few moments, but was unable to free himself from his warm, furry prison. Giving up, he looked up at Foxglove’s sleeping face again.
Despite his happiness, he couldn’t help but think to himself, “What had he gotten himself into?”
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