Will you be my Valentine's Brain

{Scene: Evil Eisner's lab. Three shadows can be seen on the wall. A female's, a cartoon mouse's and a brain tank's.}

Eisner: Finally, my greatest creation is complete!

[Cut to: Evil Eisner and his cronies]

Eisner: With this Anti-Love potion, I'm going to contaminate the world's water suply! Victory will be mine!

Mickey: Why not take a bath in the water tanks of every waterworks on this planet? I'm sure it'll be enough to contaminate the water.

Eisner: Don't interupt my moment of glory! Now where was I? Ah yes, this potion is enough to make anyone who drinks it hate everyone of the opposite gender, it's bound to shatter the lives of married couples and lovers everywhere! And the best part of it is that I'll have my revenge against every girl who rejected me in High School!

Lab Assistant: (whispering to Mickey) I estimate that's roughly fifthy, wanna bet?

Mickey: (whispering back) I say seventy, winner gets hundred bucks.

Eisner: No longer will I have to tolerate those sickening couples making out in the park! Make war, not love!

Intruder: That's awfully perverted mate, can't allow ye to do it.

[Montery Jack is revealed to be the infiltrator.]

Eisner: What? How did you get in without my soldiers sounding the alarm!?

Monty: I entered through the skylight. You might not have heard it cause all the glass is already broken. Ye might want to call a glass setter company so you'll hear it when someone gets into this place to foil yer plans.

Eisner: Well, you're too late anyway. There is no one who can stop me now! My men are dumping this stuff into the water suply as we speak!

[A monitor flickers to life and a man is shown in a black business suit, black sunglasses and black hair.]

FBI agent: This is M. Anin Black of the FBI. We just captured a bucnh of your goons snooping around at water treatment plants around the country. This is a last warning: do such a thing again and we'll see you and your orginization as a threat to peace and act accordingly. We'd rather not do it, for you are to rediculous to be taken serious, but we are ALWAYS serious so knock off!

[The transmission ends which leaves Eisner shocked. His henchmen just sigh and whistle uninterested, looking away from their leader.]

Monty: Why couldn't ye stay good? Last time you sworn to devote yer time to protecting the Coffeehouse and now look at what became of you!

Eisner: (crying) What happened to me that I did this? Why couldn't I keep control? WHY!?

Mickey: Because you can't even control the people around you. Much less yourself.

Eisner: (crying even more) What will Widgo Fett think? She'll hate me forever now, I know it! Why couldn't I just stay a honest businessman? Why didn't I listen to my mother and studied medicines?

Lab Assistent: There, there boss. Don't cry, that so out of character.

Eisner: (recovering) Hey, that's right! I should have given the most stone-faced and emotionless answer a dissembodied brain can give. Shall we try it again? Okay here we go. I just couldn't resist the call for world domination and it's simply in my blood to torment others. It's nothing personal, I just want to be myself. I hope you can understand that.

Monty: Sure mate, but I'll still have to stop you from doing it. Hope you don't take offense.

Eisner: Of course not, it's your job.

Monty: Thanks.

{Monty quickly grabs the vail of Anti-Love Eisner kept with him and throws it's content over the three bad guys.}

Monty: There, I hope this stuff just lasts for a few weeks. To bad I couldn't take some for meself. I would surely keep the boys from fighting over poor little Gadget. And perhaps Chip would like to try it out on Tammy if she stopped by sometime.

Eisner: Tammy's a girl, so she's not worthy of my creations!

Mickey: Yeah, tell her that!

Monty: Will do mate, but I fear she won't take it from ye. Expect a new visitor soon. Have a nice day!

[Monty walks out through the door and leaves the three villains behind.]

Lab Assistant: Well, it failed. But what else to expect from men?

Eisner: You brew that potion! It's your fault this plan failed!

Mickey: Now get back to the kitchen and prepare a meal. That's all you're good for!

Lab Assistant: That is sexism! All you men do is supress us! But one day women around the world will rise against male tyranny, mark my words!

[Fade to black, Monty and Foxglove appear.]

Monty: And that's how I saved Valentine's Day from that dissembodied embodiment of evil.

Foxglove: I find it a bit hard to believe this story. But no matter, I'm off to find Dale now, bye.

Monty: (grumbling) Why does everyone reject the truth?



Hopefully people liked this story, even if it was written in one sitting.

Micheal Eisner is property of himself, as there is only one true Eisner!

Mickey is from Disney Studios, which is also property of Eisner.

Monty is also copyrighted by Disney, which is property of Eisner. Is there anything this man doesn't own?

Foxglove is also property of Disney thus indirectly property of Eisner.

The Nameless Lab Assistant and M. Anin Black are my own creations.

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