The Blueberry Incident?
By Varish Mouse

The disclaimer blurb thingy Well, let's be reasonable, we all know which characters Disney owns. How could I claim any rights to them? For those who haven't figured it out yet, or some lawyer jerk who has to see it in black and white, here goes. The characters Monterey Jack, Zipper, Gadget, and of course Chip and Dale and Foxglove are all copy written to Disney and who ever else may have rights to them that I don't know about.. But that would be anyone that is NOT me. I just used them in a story for something to do at the moment. I am not trying to make any profit off of these writings, I'm not overly concerned about them being flamed or put down. Don't try to give me money for posting this.. Ok I know I don't have to worry about that. But I gotta say it. I have not nor will I ever recieve a single penny for these fanfics, and I'm not trying to. Proto is a character of my creation but he's not legally copy written to me, and that's OK. I'm not too worried about him being stolen. If someone likes him enough to put up the time and money to go through those legal processes, then I guess that's the greatest form of flattery.

            It was late in the summer just before autumn. The Rescue Rangers sat around the table waiting for Gadget to return from the kitchen. She had been reading cook books lately to help Monty out with the kitchen work. This was her first attempt at dinner that didn't taste like motor oil.
            "Zowie, those books Gadget has been reading have paid off." Dale exclaimed with the intent for Gadget to hear him while rubbing his round belly. "Quite right, Gadget luv is becoming quite a betty crocker." Monterey joked. "Yeah I never thought I would say it, but Gadget can cook." Chip said loudly not to be shown up by Dale. Through the entire meal Proto had been quiet. It was obvious that something was bothering him, but the atmosphere was too light hearted to be ruined, so no one brought it up. "I liked her cooking before.." Proto muttered quietly. "Did you say something Proto?" Chip asked. Proto just shook his head "no". Not long after Gadget came out carrying a huge pie made in a bottle cap. She sat it down. "Don't touch that yet, I have something else to get." She said and disappeared back into the kitchen. A second later she came back with a smaller pie she sat it down in front of Proto. I even made one special for you without sugar, since you can't have sugar. Proto was touched. "That's really thoughtful of you Gadget." He said quietly. She only smiled. Everyone dug in except for Proto, who had known as soon as he smelled the pie that it was blueberry. The truth was he passionately hated blueberry. In fact he hated it to the point that it made him nauseous. He considered it the worst possible food source on the planet, only second to ochre. Gadget looked up.
            "What's wrong Proto, is it still too hot?" She asked concerned. Proto shook his head. He hated to tell her, he didn't want to hurt her feelings. Especially after she went to so much trouble to bake him a separate pie. "No it's OK, I'm just.. too full to have another bite..." He covered. Gadget looked disappointed. "Oh.. well at least try it.." she suggested. Proto was scared that she would ask that. He couldn't tell her he hated blueberries, that would hurt her feelings. So his hand trembling, and his eyes almost shut, he raised the fork which had a pile of the bluish purple goo on it to his mouth. It took great control not to gag, but he managed. Then as his eyes watered he squeaked. "It's good.." Gadget saw the look on his face. Maybe it was too hot. "You could have just waited for it to cool." She said thinking that Proto's eyes were watering because the pie was hot. Proto nodded. "It's OK." He said trying to keep the blueberry pie down. He sat there for a minute or two more, then asked if he could be excused. "I kind of have something to do." He explained. They seemed to understand, and Proto rushed out the front door.
            "You know he's been kind of quiet lately" Monty mentioned. "Yeah I know, like he's preoccupied by something." Gadget added. "Proto has always been kind of depressed though." Dale said with a mouthful of pie. "Yeah I agree." Chip said. "I know..but he seems more depressed than usual lately. You don't think he's still tore up about Cody do you?" They shrugged. Cody had been smashed in the last run in with Proto's enemy Tiberus. In fact it was stepped on, and had one side of it crushed. "I really hope he's OK, I mean he took it pretty hard. He gave it a burial and everything." Gadget then added. "I guess you're right Gadget, maybe when he gets back one of us should talk to him?" Chip agreed. They all seemed to agree with that idea but who would volunteer? After some debating they decided that it would have to be dale, since he would probably be the only one up when Proto finally decided to come back. With that they quit worrying about it. The night wore on, and Proto didn't come back. As the night began to fade. Dale went to bed assuming Proto would be back by the time the others were up, and one of them would relieve him of his duty of talking to him, which he really didn't want to do anyway.
            No sooner than he had gone to sleep he was roused by a loud commotion, and Chip's voice yelling "We're under attack!" Dale sat up and looked out the window in time to see a large blueberry spatter against it, staining it bluish purple. He leapt out of bed, and ran to see what was going on. Gadget was busy boarding up the windows while Chip, and Monty were trying to hold the door shut. As it buckled inward a large patch of blue visible in the crack between the door, and frame. Gadget handed him a hammer. "Here get the windows in your room we have to keep them out!" She said hurrying Dale back into his room. "What? Keep who out?" He asked standing in the doorway of his room with a confused look on his face. "The blueberries!" Gadget yelled as she ran to another room. Dale heard a thud, and another blueberry went splat against the window, this time it was cracked. If they kept that up the window would break completely out, and they would get in. "Blueberries??" Dale muttered to himself, as he boarded up the window. It was too silly even for him to believe, and yet he had seen two blueberries kamikaze themselves against his bedroom window. So rather than ask himself what was going on he began to board up the window. Once it was done he rushed back to help Chip and Monty hold the door. When he stepped into the room he was assaulted by a blueberry. It jumped at him, with an open mouth ready to bite. It didn't have teeth, but rather just a jagged opening. Just as the blueberry was about to strike it splattered splashing a blue goo all over Dale. Behind it floated Cody. His shell was open, and some sort of weapon was armed. Dale gathered his bearings, and saw that Chip, and Monty had already barred the door, but the room was still filled with carnivorous blueberries that stood about the height of Dale's knee. Gadget and the others were vigorously stomping them Dale joined in.
            "What happened how did they get in?" He asked while kicking a savage blueberry thudding against the wall. Gadget gave a weak embarrassed smile, and shrugged. "I forgot to close the garage door?" Suddenly another flood of blueberries rushed in. "No time to cast blame now more are coming!" Chip shouted, as he picked up a chair. A rather large, and snap-happy leapt at him. Chip threw up the chair in defense. The enraged blueberry jumped at the chair biting the most of it off leaving chip holding the back. The blueberry then proceeded to chew the chair up, and spit it back out all over chip, as a blue wood pulpy mush. It then appeared to laugh for a split second before it burst showering chip with yet a second coating of sticky, staining purple mess. Zipper stood trying to hide a large, mallet behind his back, looking halfway innocent, with a guilty grin on his face. Chip wiped the glop out of his eyes, and threw it to each side with a slopping sound. Then just as suddenly as the attack had began it ceased. The blueberries flooded out of the tree just as eagerly as they had come in, and the rangers were left looking dumbfounded, and drenched in purple gush.
            "What was that about!?" Dale exclaimed. There was a quiet round of everyone looking to everyone else for an answer that none of them had. All of a sudden there was a loud clatter, and a blueberry gel coated Proto kicked the door in. As the door swung open it pushed the coating on the floor which was standing quite thick away sending a pond ripple of glop that splashed against the rangers feet. "Can someone tell me what the (censored) is going on!!" He shouted standing in the doorway gauntlet open and clogged with glop. "I just got attacked by the Blueberry Queen, and her faithful army of killer blueberries!" Proto almost yelled. "You too huh?" Gadget asked ringing the goo out of her hair. Chip, and dale were busy wiping the goo off of themselves, to worry about anything else. In fact the entire tree was flooded with blueberry mess. It dripped from the walls, stood ankle deep on the floor, dribbled down the TV screen, and soaked the couch. Every thing was coated. Some of the blueberries had come in for no other reason than to squirt their sticky thick gush all over like a high powered toothpaste cannon before making a hasty retreat. None of them knew what any of this was about. They only stood scooping the slime off of themselves dumb founded. "What did you say about a Blueberry Queen?" Chip finally asked ringing out his hat. Proto slicked his hair back to keep it from dripping in his eyes. "Well. I was just walking, and all of a sudden I was surrounded by blueberries. They sprayed me down with their glop, and then laughed as they bounced off. Then when I was walking back I once again found myself surrounded. A really big blueberry wearing an old Burger King crown bounced up, and introduced herself as the Blueberry Queen. Then I was attacked, and barely made it back. Geeze those things can bounce fast!" He exclaimed. Proto shuddered as if he had an unappealing thought. The others were too busy thinking to notice. A Blueberry Queen? That was the most ludicrous thing any of them had ever heard, and yet they had just battled a mob of angry gremlin mischievous blueberries. "Well which way did the Blueberry Queen go?" Gadget asked. Proto shrugged, still as angry as a hornet. "I don't know! I was running in the other direction!" Gadget felt dumb, he had mentioned that he ran after all. "Oh.. sorry.." She shrugged. There was a short pause "Well maybe we should try to clean this place up." Monty shrugged. Gadget looked around. "Yeah Monty I guess you're right." Chip, and dale went to get some mops. Proto looked around. How were they going to clean this up? The tree was worse than a mess, it was worst than a pig pen, It was flooded!. "How can we clean this up in one night?" He asked. Gadget shrugged as she came back from her workshop with a wet-vac. "Oh. it's no big deal. We've seen worse messes." Proto looked at is someone told him the sky was falling. At that moment Chip, and Dale returned with two three mops, and some paper towels. They were both squeaky clean.
            "HUH?!?" Proto did a double take. "Hey!! I thought sticky blueberry guts stuck to some people!" Chip, and Dale looked at one another and shrugged, then handed him a mop. They handed the paper towels to Monty, then Gadget who using one paper towel, which was really nothing more than one of those little towellettes that you get from rest stops, to entirely, and completely rid herself of every last drop of the goop. She then handed them to Proto. "Here, no need to be standing around a dripping mess." She said. Proto was entirely confused. However he took the napkins, and began to attempt to wipe the blue slime off of him. Strangely he didn't quite get the results the others had. To he ended up having to work still sticky, and stinking of over ripe blueberries. The clean up was just as absurdly easy for the Rangers. While Proto toiled to mop up just a section, Chip and dale seemed to erase the goo from the floor with one stroke of their mops. Even after the work was done, and Proto had a shower he was still stained blue. He walked into the living room.
            "Hey, why so blue?" Dale snickered. Proto tried not to get mad. "Maybe he got on the wrong end of a disgruntled inker? That happens sometimes in the cartoon industry." Gadget giggled. "Maybe he's taking after Van Goh, and having a blue period?" Chip questioned. Proto pulled his hair and ran screaming from the room. "I wonder what's wrong with him?" Monty asked. The others looked at one another and shrugged.
            The night went quickly. and the Rangers were up with the morning sun. Chip came in looking quite refreshed, and vigorous. Dale was even strangely energetic. Chip walked into the kitchen for a cup of morning coffee. When he poured the coffee from the pot he noticed that it was a little thick.....and blue....He looked at the pot in surprise to find it was full of blueberry slime. "What the!?" He managed to say as he looked around. Once he had turned to his left be noticed a rather small, cute looking blueberry. "Oh. Hello there.." He said kind of awkwardly. The blueberry looked happy, and swelled as if taking in a deep breath. Chip bent down to get a closer look, and sploosh! The blueberry let loose with a huge squirt of goop, that covered Chip's face and chest. The blueberry then laughed, and jumped out the open window just as a steamed chip dove after it, barely missing it. Dale stood in the doorway laughing hysterically. Chip smiled mischievously, and scooped some of the goop off of his face, and threw it hitting dale square on the forehead. Dale wiped it off but didn't retaliate. He had a better idea. He waited for chip to go clean up then took the coffee pot, and dumped it's content in a cup. Then he quietly snuck out of the kitchen snickering. He followed Chip watching him go into the bathroom. Dale reached up, and put the cup on top of the door to the bathroom, which was cracked open just enough to support it. Then he went to set on the couch. He held in the laughter as he heard Chip turn the water off. Then he turned just in time to watch the thimble of glosh, plummet directly on top of chip's head. The mess dribbled down the sides of Chip's head while he stood there with his arms crossed.
            "Those darn blueberries never quit do they chip? Dale said trying not to laugh. Then Gadget walked by heading to her workshop. "You two never quit do you?" She said rhetorically. By now dale wasn't able to hold it in any longer, and burst out laughing so hard he couldn't stand. Chip stood with a look of pure anger, and embarrassment on his face thinking of how he would get dale back. He felt stupid for having fallen for such a elementary prank.

The End

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