The Blueberry Incident?
By Varish Mouse
The disclaimer blurb thingy Well, let's be reasonable, we all know which characters Disney owns. How could I claim any rights to them? For those who haven't figured it out yet, or some lawyer jerk who has to see it in black and white, here goes. The characters Monterey Jack, Zipper, Gadget, and of course Chip and Dale and Foxglove are all copy written to Disney and who ever else may have rights to them that I don't know about.. But that would be anyone that is NOT me. I just used them in a story for something to do at the moment. I am not trying to make any profit off of these writings, I'm not overly concerned about them being flamed or put down. Don't try to give me money for posting this.. Ok I know I don't have to worry about that. But I gotta say it. I have not nor will I ever recieve a single penny for these fanfics, and I'm not trying to. Proto is a character of my creation but he's not legally copy written to me, and that's OK. I'm not too worried about him being stolen. If someone likes him enough to put up the time and money to go through those legal processes, then I guess that's the greatest form of flattery.
It was late in the summer just before autumn.
The Rescue Rangers sat around the table waiting for Gadget to return from the
kitchen. She had been reading cook books lately to help Monty out with the kitchen
work. This was her first attempt at dinner that didn't taste like motor oil.
"Zowie, those books Gadget has been
reading have paid off." Dale exclaimed with the intent for Gadget to hear
him while rubbing his round belly. "Quite right, Gadget luv is becoming
quite a betty crocker." Monterey joked. "Yeah I never thought I would
say it, but Gadget can cook." Chip said loudly not to be shown up by Dale.
Through the entire meal Proto had been quiet. It was obvious that something
was bothering him, but the atmosphere was too light hearted to be ruined, so
no one brought it up. "I liked her cooking before.." Proto muttered
quietly. "Did you say something Proto?" Chip asked. Proto just shook
his head "no". Not long after Gadget came out carrying a huge pie
made in a bottle cap. She sat it down. "Don't touch that yet, I have something
else to get." She said and disappeared back into the kitchen. A second
later she came back with a smaller pie she sat it down in front of Proto. I
even made one special for you without sugar, since you can't have sugar. Proto
was touched. "That's really thoughtful of you Gadget." He said quietly.
She only smiled. Everyone dug in except for Proto, who had known as soon as
he smelled the pie that it was blueberry. The truth was he passionately hated
blueberry. In fact he hated it to the point that it made him nauseous. He considered
it the worst possible food source on the planet, only second to ochre. Gadget
looked up.
"What's wrong Proto, is it still too
hot?" She asked concerned. Proto shook his head. He hated to tell her,
he didn't want to hurt her feelings. Especially after she went to so much trouble
to bake him a separate pie. "No it's OK, I'm just.. too full to have another
bite..." He covered. Gadget looked disappointed. "Oh.. well at least
try it.." she suggested. Proto was scared that she would ask that. He couldn't
tell her he hated blueberries, that would hurt her feelings. So his hand trembling,
and his eyes almost shut, he raised the fork which had a pile of the bluish
purple goo on it to his mouth. It took great control not to gag, but he managed.
Then as his eyes watered he squeaked. "It's good.." Gadget saw the
look on his face. Maybe it was too hot. "You could have just waited for
it to cool." She said thinking that Proto's eyes were watering because
the pie was hot. Proto nodded. "It's OK." He said trying to keep the
blueberry pie down. He sat there for a minute or two more, then asked if he
could be excused. "I kind of have something to do." He explained.
They seemed to understand, and Proto rushed out the front door.
"You know he's been kind of quiet lately"
Monty mentioned. "Yeah I know, like he's preoccupied by something."
Gadget added. "Proto has always been kind of depressed though." Dale
said with a mouthful of pie. "Yeah I agree." Chip said. "I know..but
he seems more depressed than usual lately. You don't think he's still tore up
about Cody do you?" They shrugged. Cody had been smashed in the last run
in with Proto's enemy Tiberus. In fact it was stepped on, and had one side of
it crushed. "I really hope he's OK, I mean he took it pretty hard. He gave
it a burial and everything." Gadget then added. "I guess you're right
Gadget, maybe when he gets back one of us should talk to him?" Chip agreed.
They all seemed to agree with that idea but who would volunteer? After some
debating they decided that it would have to be dale, since he would probably
be the only one up when Proto finally decided to come back. With that they quit
worrying about it. The night wore on, and Proto didn't come back. As the night
began to fade. Dale went to bed assuming Proto would be back by the time the
others were up, and one of them would relieve him of his duty of talking to
him, which he really didn't want to do anyway.
No sooner than he had gone to sleep he was
roused by a loud commotion, and Chip's voice yelling "We're under attack!"
Dale sat up and looked out the window in time to see a large blueberry spatter
against it, staining it bluish purple. He leapt out of bed, and ran to see what
was going on. Gadget was busy boarding up the windows while Chip, and Monty
were trying to hold the door shut. As it buckled inward a large patch of blue
visible in the crack between the door, and frame. Gadget handed him a hammer.
"Here get the windows in your room we have to keep them out!" She
said hurrying Dale back into his room. "What? Keep who out?" He asked
standing in the doorway of his room with a confused look on his face. "The
blueberries!" Gadget yelled as she ran to another room. Dale heard a thud,
and another blueberry went splat against the window, this time it was cracked.
If they kept that up the window would break completely out, and they would get
in. "Blueberries??" Dale muttered to himself, as he boarded up the
window. It was too silly even for him to believe, and yet he had seen two blueberries
kamikaze themselves against his bedroom window. So rather than ask himself what
was going on he began to board up the window. Once it was done he rushed back
to help Chip and Monty hold the door. When he stepped into the room he was assaulted
by a blueberry. It jumped at him, with an open mouth ready to bite. It didn't
have teeth, but rather just a jagged opening. Just as the blueberry was about
to strike it splattered splashing a blue goo all over Dale. Behind it floated
Cody. His shell was open, and some sort of weapon was armed. Dale gathered his
bearings, and saw that Chip, and Monty had already barred the door, but the
room was still filled with carnivorous blueberries that stood about the height
of Dale's knee. Gadget and the others were vigorously stomping them Dale joined
in.
"What happened how did they get in?"
He asked while kicking a savage blueberry thudding against the wall. Gadget
gave a weak embarrassed smile, and shrugged. "I forgot to close the garage
door?" Suddenly another flood of blueberries rushed in. "No time to
cast blame now more are coming!" Chip shouted, as he picked up a chair.
A rather large, and snap-happy leapt at him. Chip threw up the chair in defense.
The enraged blueberry jumped at the chair biting the most of it off leaving
chip holding the back. The blueberry then proceeded to chew the chair up, and
spit it back out all over chip, as a blue wood pulpy mush. It then appeared
to laugh for a split second before it burst showering chip with yet a second
coating of sticky, staining purple mess. Zipper stood trying to hide a large,
mallet behind his back, looking halfway innocent, with a guilty grin on his
face. Chip wiped the glop out of his eyes, and threw it to each side with a
slopping sound. Then just as suddenly as the attack had began it ceased. The
blueberries flooded out of the tree just as eagerly as they had come in, and
the rangers were left looking dumbfounded, and drenched in purple gush.
"What was that about!?" Dale exclaimed.
There was a quiet round of everyone looking to everyone else for an answer that
none of them had. All of a sudden there was a loud clatter, and a blueberry
gel coated Proto kicked the door in. As the door swung open it pushed the coating
on the floor which was standing quite thick away sending a pond ripple of glop
that splashed against the rangers feet. "Can someone tell me what the (censored)
is going on!!" He shouted standing in the doorway gauntlet open and clogged
with glop. "I just got attacked by the Blueberry Queen, and her faithful
army of killer blueberries!" Proto almost yelled. "You too huh?"
Gadget asked ringing the goo out of her hair. Chip, and dale were busy wiping
the goo off of themselves, to worry about anything else. In fact the entire
tree was flooded with blueberry mess. It dripped from the walls, stood ankle
deep on the floor, dribbled down the TV screen, and soaked the couch. Every
thing was coated. Some of the blueberries had come in for no other reason than
to squirt their sticky thick gush all over like a high powered toothpaste cannon
before making a hasty retreat. None of them knew what any of this was about.
They only stood scooping the slime off of themselves dumb founded. "What
did you say about a Blueberry Queen?" Chip finally asked ringing out his
hat. Proto slicked his hair back to keep it from dripping in his eyes. "Well.
I was just walking, and all of a sudden I was surrounded by blueberries. They
sprayed me down with their glop, and then laughed as they bounced off. Then
when I was walking back I once again found myself surrounded. A really big blueberry
wearing an old Burger King crown bounced up, and introduced herself as the Blueberry
Queen. Then I was attacked, and barely made it back. Geeze those things can
bounce fast!" He exclaimed. Proto shuddered as if he had an unappealing
thought. The others were too busy thinking to notice. A Blueberry Queen? That
was the most ludicrous thing any of them had ever heard, and yet they had just
battled a mob of angry gremlin mischievous blueberries. "Well which way
did the Blueberry Queen go?" Gadget asked. Proto shrugged, still as angry
as a hornet. "I don't know! I was running in the other direction!"
Gadget felt dumb, he had mentioned that he ran after all. "Oh.. sorry.."
She shrugged. There was a short pause "Well maybe we should try to clean
this place up." Monty shrugged. Gadget looked around. "Yeah Monty
I guess you're right." Chip, and dale went to get some mops. Proto looked
around. How were they going to clean this up? The tree was worse than a mess,
it was worst than a pig pen, It was flooded!. "How can we clean this up
in one night?" He asked. Gadget shrugged as she came back from her workshop
with a wet-vac. "Oh. it's no big deal. We've seen worse messes." Proto
looked at is someone told him the sky was falling. At that moment Chip, and
Dale returned with two three mops, and some paper towels. They were both squeaky
clean.
"HUH?!?" Proto did a double take.
"Hey!! I thought sticky blueberry guts stuck to some people!" Chip,
and Dale looked at one another and shrugged, then handed him a mop. They handed
the paper towels to Monty, then Gadget who using one paper towel, which was
really nothing more than one of those little towellettes that you get from rest
stops, to entirely, and completely rid herself of every last drop of the goop.
She then handed them to Proto. "Here, no need to be standing around a dripping
mess." She said. Proto was entirely confused. However he took the napkins,
and began to attempt to wipe the blue slime off of him. Strangely he didn't
quite get the results the others had. To he ended up having to work still sticky,
and stinking of over ripe blueberries. The clean up was just as absurdly easy
for the Rangers. While Proto toiled to mop up just a section, Chip and dale
seemed to erase the goo from the floor with one stroke of their mops. Even after
the work was done, and Proto had a shower he was still stained blue. He walked
into the living room.
"Hey, why so blue?" Dale snickered.
Proto tried not to get mad. "Maybe he got on the wrong end of a disgruntled
inker? That happens sometimes in the cartoon industry." Gadget giggled.
"Maybe he's taking after Van Goh, and having a blue period?" Chip
questioned. Proto pulled his hair and ran screaming from the room. "I wonder
what's wrong with him?" Monty asked. The others looked at one another and
shrugged.
The night went quickly. and the Rangers
were up with the morning sun. Chip came in looking quite refreshed, and vigorous.
Dale was even strangely energetic. Chip walked into the kitchen for a cup of
morning coffee. When he poured the coffee from the pot he noticed that it was
a little thick.....and blue....He looked at the pot in surprise to find it was
full of blueberry slime. "What the!?" He managed to say as he looked
around. Once he had turned to his left be noticed a rather small, cute looking
blueberry. "Oh. Hello there.." He said kind of awkwardly. The blueberry
looked happy, and swelled as if taking in a deep breath. Chip bent down to get
a closer look, and sploosh! The blueberry let loose with a huge squirt of goop,
that covered Chip's face and chest. The blueberry then laughed, and jumped out
the open window just as a steamed chip dove after it, barely missing it. Dale
stood in the doorway laughing hysterically. Chip smiled mischievously, and scooped
some of the goop off of his face, and threw it hitting dale square on the forehead.
Dale wiped it off but didn't retaliate. He had a better idea. He waited for
chip to go clean up then took the coffee pot, and dumped it's content in a cup.
Then he quietly snuck out of the kitchen snickering. He followed Chip watching
him go into the bathroom. Dale reached up, and put the cup on top of the door
to the bathroom, which was cracked open just enough to support it. Then he went
to set on the couch. He held in the laughter as he heard Chip turn the water
off. Then he turned just in time to watch the thimble of glosh, plummet directly
on top of chip's head. The mess dribbled down the sides of Chip's head while
he stood there with his arms crossed.
"Those darn blueberries never quit
do they chip? Dale said trying not to laugh. Then Gadget walked by heading to
her workshop. "You two never quit do you?" She said rhetorically.
By now dale wasn't able to hold it in any longer, and burst out laughing so
hard he couldn't stand. Chip stood with a look of pure anger, and embarrassment
on his face thinking of how he would get dale back. He felt stupid for having
fallen for such a elementary prank.
The End