Count Dracula

by John Pesterfield and Karl
(or Karl and John Pesterfield ;) )

Dale sat on his daughters bed and began to read her one of his books, having no idea of what it would do to her.

The next day:
Frosty Magnolia: Mommy, do you drink blood? Mommy, do you hypnotize people? Mommy, when you bite someone do they become a vampire? Foxglove:(in a sweet voice) Dale, come here please.

Dale was not expecting Foxglove to smile at him. His suprise turned to terror as she grinned more openly, exposing long, curved, sharp fangs. He fainted dead away. Foxglove removed the plastic teeth, worked her mouth around to ease the discomfort wearing them had been, and turned to Gadget. "Thanks again Gadget, I don't think he'll be telling vampire stories for a while, now."

"What should we do with him?"
"Hmmm... Let me think about that."
The two looked down at the unconscious chipmunk, plotting...

Foxglove and Gadget rushed Dale to bed, and began sorting through his comic books.
"All these comic books, I don't understand what he sees in them." Gadget muttered as she put the useful ones to the side. "Look Gadget," squealed Foxglove, "actual literature 'Dracula' and 'Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde' there are some more in here all horror." Foxglove picked 'Dracula' and they started to read, taking an occasional note or marking a page. A few hours later they had the information they needed, and set about collecting supplies...

The chipmunk-sized coffin partially filled with "graveyard earth" was easy, but Gadget had some trouble with the photosensitizing creme she finally began rubbing into Dale's fur, explaining "it will make him itch when sunlight strikes him." Foxglove could appreciate such care to detail, but gently took over the job of applying the creme... This was HER Dale, after all. A spare set of plastic fangs came next, with a bit of Gadget's all-purpose adhesive to hold them firmly in place.

"Hmmm... What have we forgotten?" Foxglove wondered, then bent and placed her own fangs on his neck. She carefully put a few drops of stage blood where the fangs where. She looked him over carefully: he was pale with only his red nose showing a little color left, there where two drops of 'blood' where he had been 'bitten', and beyond that he was the same, they had decided to leave him in his normal clothes thinking a costume might tip him off no matter how dense he was. Now finished with the preparation of Dale, Foxglove began to prepare, she thought of how to greet him when he awoke she tried several accents. Gadget was on her way to inform the others before they got back from case hunting "You do those accents well." commented Gadget "Thanks I couldn't have done it without your radio." Foxglove replied and continued through various languages, she was into Russian lessons now the Lao she started with was years behind her. Gadget went out to tell the boys, and Foxglove continued trying languages soon Dale would awaken. Gadget explained the plan to the others, especially Chip's part, which involved a sponge-rubber "wooden stake" saturated with fake "stage blood" inside.

They waited.
Dale began to wake up.

Foxglove knelt beside him, "Welcome back, my love! She purred in her chosen accent, pitching her voice lower than usual as well. "Welcome to the eternal existence of the Undead!!"

Dale screamed and threw himself away from Foxglove in panic. Then his hand went to his throat, and came away red. He ran to a "mirror" which was actually a photograph of the room, and saw no reflection. He ran to the window to escape, but the instant he threw back the curtains, he felt as though he was burning up!

Foxglove did a convincing act of experiencing similar pain, and cried out, "Close the curtains, my beloved one! We cannot bear the light of the sun!" At that instant, Gadget rushed into the room, pointed at Foxglove, posed in all of her mock-vampiric glory, and screamed melodramatically. Monty followed, 'captured' Foxglove, and pretended to wrestle her to the floor with great difficulty. "Quick, Chip me bucko!! She's too strong to hold!" Chip posed over Foxglove, holding the 'stake' and drew back as if to plunge it into her heart.

"Noooooo!!" Dale threw himself at Chip.
Gadget tripped him on the way by. He fell beside Foxglove, just as the cruelly sharpened instrument was driven into her
chest, red 'blood' spurting out hideously..
"Nooo", He whispered..

So, you love her?
"Huhh? Of course I loved her."
"Even if she was a vampire?"
"Gadget, you don't understand.."
"Even if...?"
"Yes, but now could you please kill me too?"

"Why do you wish to die, is it because you can not live as the creature you have become?" Gadget questioned. "No, I could live like this if I had to I could live with anything if I had Foxglove, but I can not live without her."

"Would you want her back as nothing more than a common bat?"
"Foxglove was not common! She was beautiful! She was perfect! She was.." Dale ran out of words and buried his face in his hands.
"If you give up being a vampire, Dale, I can bring back Foxglove. But there's a catch.."

With a look of desperation and hope, Dale cried out, "Anything!" He threw himself down on his knees, clasping her hand between his, sobbing. "Anything!"

"You must remove any vampire-related books, magazines, or other printed matter from your home, and never speak of vampires again."

"I'll do it!! I'll burn it all! It cost me a months's work for a librarian mouse to get those books, but for Foxglove, yes!"
"Very well, then lie down in your coffin."

Shuddering in dread, Dale climbed in. Gadget dosed him with a fast-acting drug, and while he was "under", she and foxglove restored the room and everything else in it to the exact condition it had had before the whole incident began.
Dale woke up in front of the TV. Foxglove walked in, asking "anything good on?" She seemed to have no idea what he was raving about, suggesting that he had fallen asleep watching some nasty horror movie.

"You really shouldn't watch those things, Dale! Really!!"
"But the movie wasn't about v--" Foxglove's eyes seemed to widen in shock or terror.
"Never mind, it was a lousy movie anyway.." Dale finished.

And they lived happily ever after. Sort of.

Back to the stories