Rescue Rangers Celebrity Jeopardy

By Cyber Daimyo

Part Four

Gadget Hackwrench: Welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. I apologize for what happened before the commercial and would like to ensure the audience that all three contestants are now wearing pants. That's said, let's take a look at the scores. Fat Cat has -$79,000.

Fat Cat: ALL ABOARD!!!! [ laughs hysterically like a hyena ]

Gadget Hackwrench: Fantastic. Foxglove has a commanding lead with zero.

Foxglove: Gadget, I've transformed this simple game show podium into a rich garden of the Foxglove clan, using yellow daffodils and black roses. I really treasure it.

Gadget Hackwrench: Wow. And in third place... [ sighs ] Mepps.

Mepps: We meet again, Gadget. I noticed you weren't able to sit down during the break. What's wrong, sweetie? Did you have a date with Chip last night? [ laughs ]

Gadget Hackwrench: Thank you, Mepps. Now let's take a look at the categories for Double Jeopardy. They are: POTENT POTABLES, DRUMMERS NAMED RINGO, STATES THAT BEGIN WITH "CALIFORN," RICHARD NIXON, THE NUMBER AFTER 2, FAMOUS KAREEM ABDUL-JABBARS, and finally, DON'T DO ANYTHING. [ Mepps rings in ] What is it, Mepps?

Mepps: Knock, knock.

Gadget Hackwrench: Who's there?

Mepps: Me, the guy who wore your goggles last night. [ laughs ]

Gadget Hackwrench: Let's just go with DRUMMERS NAMED RINGO for $400. And the answer is: This Ringo was the "Starr" drummer for the Beatles. [ Foxglove rings in ] Foxglove.

Foxglove: I'm so terribly lonely.

Gadget Hackwrench: I know. [ Mepps rings in ] Mepps. The drummer for the Beatles.

Mepps: Girlie Dorkwrench.

Gadget Hackwrench: Who is Girlie Dorkwrench?

Mepps: Apparently, you are. [ Gadget takes a drink from her soda as Mepps laughs ]

Gadget Hackwrench: The answer of course is Ringo Starr. Fat Cat, you get to choose.

Fat Cat: Choose? I'll take Charleston Choo for 16 million!

Gadget Hackwrench: Let's just go with DON'T DO ANYTHING. The answer is: Don't do anything. Don't ring your buzzer, just remain motionless and you all win. [ Fat Cat rings in ] Fat Cat, you just lost. Well, at least the two other contestants-- [ Foxglove rings in ] why did you ring your buzzer?!

Foxglove: Because that sound reminds me of a legendary samurai genius mouse of the 21st century.

Gadget Hackwrench: Well, congratulations, Mepps, you ar-- [ Mepps rings in ] what? [ ticked off ] Why did you do that?!

Mepps: Because I hate you, Gadget. [ laughs ]

Gadget Hackwrench: Mepps, it's your board.

Mepps: Certainly, it is, you beef-packed intelligent samurai mouse. [ points to board with his marker ] Lookie at what I did. [ Mepps shows that he edited the category RICHARD NIXON into MEPPS NIXON, GADGET'S WORST NIGHTMARE. ] [ Mepps laughs ]

Gadget Hackwrench: All right. Fantastic. All right, let's just end this and go to Final Jeopardy. [ looks at card ] The category is-- you know what? I'll tell you what... [ rips card ] The category is Things you like. Just write down or draw a picture of something you like. [ 1980s Final Jeopardy theme starts ] If you like circles, draw a circle. Fat Cat could draw a Charleston Choo. Mepps could draw me, fooling around. Anything at all. [ music stops ] Well, let's start with Fat Cat. He wrote... [ shows "monkeys" ] monkeys. Fine. That's great. You like monkeys.

Fat Cat: No, I don't like monkeys. They're awful! I had a monkey one time, but he betrayed me and my gang and teamed up with the Rescue Rangers, so I quit caring for monkeys. [ laughs ]

Gadget Hackwrench: Is something wrong with your brain. Foxglove seems very confident. Let's see what she wrote... [ a blank screen appears ] Absolutely nothing.

Foxglove: Gadget, I'm filthy rich. I don't need your chunk change.

Gadget Hackwrench: You're playing for charity.

Foxglove: I don't care.

Gadget Hackwrench: Please seek some counseling. And finally, Mepps you wrote... [ screen reads "Gadget Hackwrench" ] Gadget Hackwrench. I...I can't believe it. Something you like is me.

Mepps: Yeah, girl. I know I'm hard on you, but it's all in good times.

Gadget Hackwrench: I...I don't know what to say. Let's see how much you wagered... [ wager reveals the word "bites" ] Bites. [ Mepps laughs as he slaps Gadget on the head ]

Gadget Hackwrench: I can't believe I fell for that. So long for Celebrity Jeopardy. Good Gravy! [ Mepps keeps on laughing as he leaves his podium while Gadget leaves the stage ]

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